Analyze These

[Voldie_M]

Sassy said:

There is a huge difference between being in love and love someone... as for me, I fall in love all the time. But I have the sweetest boyfriend ever now, and I think at this moment I'm between falling in love and love him. That's such a difficult thing!

i know exactly what u mean,its like ,my closest male friend alex,i love him,but im not in love with him.ya know?
I guess people can love people in different ways too

[Angelamyte]

ahhh..the topic of the biggest cliche in life...LOVE..
and wat is love anyway? some philosophers belive that there isn't such a thing as love and i believe it...
it's more a physical atrraction that turns into a great friendship and then a mutual agreement to be together forever..
that might be the cynical way of looking at love, but that's how i feel my relationship with my boyfriend is.. it was obviously lust at first sight then it turned into something more meaningful but it doesn't mean we're going to committ ourselves yet, because we're so young (18 yrs old) we've yet to experience life, and one can't say you're in love or in need of love at such a young age..it's more of the fact that everyone wants someone to act as a friend but who's able to makeout with you later...and am i lying here girls?
but the whole mindset that "love" has to be something that is forever, is soooooo WRONG! one can fall out of love as easily as in to it due to the fact that it was more a physical attraction that made you look at the person...
of course, "love" does develop out of a good friendship and it's okay to "love" someone as a friend because you can, however, mistaking it for "romantic love" is another thing..there's a fine line between them and one has to consciously decide what that line is before exclaiming to the world "I'M IN 'LOVE'!"

[Mandragora]

Hahaha, it's fun reading these things... but then, well, a number of you who have responded are with someone, how about us singletons? To be perfectly honest, I cannot relate at all... well, that doesn't mean at some point I didn't want to get into a realtionship, but I've had, or say, experienced too many mistakes to make another one.

To be honest, I think I don't want to commit at the moment but when it comes, that's IT. I want toplay the filed though... you know, see other guys, develop a friendship but then define the overhead or something... and that's it. The problem is, guys I know want some commitment, and it's crazy! And it's hard to break someone's heart especially if you like the person... I mean, does the guy have to be likeable enough (or the most likeable in line) before you say, er, 'Yes'?

Hah, I want passion, fireworks, blood, sweat, tears... I know very unlikely to happen.

[Angelamyte]

sorry mandragora that only happens in books and movies and if it does happen in real life...it's not for long! but you can create that out of a relationship that isn't based on passion and blood and tears

[MsPoet]

I think it can happen in real life, but it's rare, and not in the terms that we see in the movies.

I have a theory. LOL. The fact is, 1/2 of marriages end in divorce.....I think that it's unrealistic for someone in their 20's or maybe even 30's and up to expect to commit to someone else for an entire life (not that it *can't* be done, but...). Life is different now than it used to be. 100 years ago, people rarely traveled 20 miles from where they grew up (I actually read this somewhere). They lived in a town where everybody knew everybody else, and so they automatically *saw* their choices.

Nowadays, it's possible to communicate with people all over the globe (example: HERE<g>). Plus, even non-major cities are incredibly dense and that means more people, more opportunities. Travel is easier. All this amounts to meeting more people. So if you marry someone, it's likely you're going to meet someone you love *at least* equally later on.

I have passion, fireworks, blood, sweat and tears all by my own self. I expect, at the very least, all that from a partner.

Donna

[Angelamyte]

i totally agree with the broader choice thing..I mean, now in the 21st century, the world is a village, hence "the global village". that's probably why people are getting married later in life, they believe that in their travels and experience, someone will come to them..someone from a different culture or religion..

and about the whole sweat, blood, tears and other bodily excretions..i mean, if you find someone u'll marry..can that really be expected? is that more a requirement or an added plus?

[MsPoet]

Angela said:

and about the whole sweat, blood, tears and other bodily excreations..i mean, if you find someone u'll marry..can that really be expected? is that more a requirement or an added plus?

lol...you mean, excretions?

I still suffer passion and fireworks and blood and sweat and tears in the depths of my soul when I think of Z. (and another handsome man--remember our discussion, Angela ?)...so I'd have to say it would be a requirement.....but...I honestly don't have a great desire to get married anymore. And on Monday on Fox there's a "Bridezilla" show---I told my mom last night don't they realize it's not about the wedding----and I am definitely one he**of a chick who loves to get all feminine'd up. <g>

:)Donna

[Angelamyte]

i saw the promo for that show..WTF is going on? these girls look as if they're being forced to be married and they're just ready to kill everyone! lol

and i remember Z.. ;D

and i DON'T think it's the desire for marriage that ppl want, more the knowledge of a stable life..with someone "special"..lol

and i fixed my typo! lol

[MsPoet]

There was some article I read about a psychologist or a psychiatrist or something like that who wanted to research why divorces occur so frequently. The discoveries she made included:

---Many women wanted the wedding *day*.
---Many women said that they figured the marriage proposal was probably their last chance, so they said yes.
---Many of the guys said they figured it was "easier to marry her than to break up with her."

Ladies, I think we ALL know some people who fit one or more of those descriptions....

[Sampaguita]

Blood, sweat, and tears-- all have happened in my lovelife... but not necessarily at the same time.

Goodness knows I want the fireworks and the beauty and the suspension/tension (both metaphorically as arguments and the like and well... you know) and the sublime release that comes with resolution. I want it all...

But I have to find the right guy, right? And the timing's gotta be right, too.

Girls, doesn't it just make you mad when you feel like you could be with the perfect guy and be sublimely happy-- but the timing's just off?

Oh, and for those of you who saw "Two Weeks Notice":

I'm about to reenact/relive the scene where Sandra Bullock calls Mr. Wong and says "I'll take the #8, and the #26... oh, and the #11... and the #2... Yes, this is for one person..."

Only change Mr. Wong to Christian (not Coulson-- though this Chris is really cute) who works at the only good place that delivers around here AND is in one of my English classes. And add to the ordering monologue, "I haven't done the reading yet."

[Angelamyte]

now i think the meanist thing a guy could do was to "marry you because it was easier" i mean, it's stupid reasons like that, that make women HATE and DESPISE men so much..

[Sampaguita]

Here here!!!! I'll second that. Sometimes men just do stupid things... But I think that sometimes women just ignore the bad stuff. I wouldn't want to be one of those women who knows, deep down, that her fiance doesn't REALLY want to get married but thinks its easier and goes through with the wedding anyways. (Excuse my bad grammar.)

[Mandragora]

I think there's pretty much a reason why Robert Deniro had to hook up Ben Stiller to a lie detector test before he let him marry his daughter in "Meet the Parents" ;D

I guess that is the problem with women who get too saturated with other things, including probably the pressure to get married and the practicality of getting married. You know, the usual taboos.

I had a plan before not to get married but I want to have a child and be a single mother, and that my life will be about my kid and me. It's a hard road, but I'd rather settle for that than force myself to have a partner that I know won't work. ESPECIALLY if that guy wants to marry me because he HAS to... that's BS. It's not about being cynical at all, it's about being honest. If there's anything that I do not want to happen is that classic not wanting to live a lie, and I guess as women, we can start off by being honest with ourselves.

Heck, I feel like Gloria Steinem, haha

[Angelamyte]

one thing i would NEVER EVER want to be is a single mother..i mean, i think i'm the type of person that can be independant to a point. i would need someone with me to share everything with me..the first steps of my child, their first words..personally, if i was ever Lorelai of Gilmore Girls, i would kill my self..lol ;D

[Taz]

Hey Lorelie is a cool mom. I would love to have a mom like that. But i see what you getting at. I wouldn't want to be a single mother. I mean if my husband died, I wouldnt mind. Anyways.