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Post by Mandragora on Feb 2, 2003 0:49:41 GMT -5
Oh Mandragora, I didn't mean that comment of mine cruelly. Not at all.  Here's another: lol.... How many young women do we all know that would settle for ANYONE? If everyone wouldn't 'settle,' we'd have a ton more singletons than there already are. Geez, think of the concept: quality being required! :)Donna I never thought about your post that way, haha... actually I was hoping I'd sound dramatic, something to the effect of looking at the heavens with the fists raised, hollering WHY  Anyway, I know A LOT of girls who are like that, most of them are my dear friends unfortunately... the reason pretty much boils down to the 'You'll learn to love him' statement and the 'I'd feel guilty losing this after all this time' defence... I think, it's not about the SETTLING issue really, but more of knowing if this is IT. I wouldn't say that the IT is the absolute IT, if you guys know what I mean. At some point I know some of us might have found something very special in the past or present, but then we had to let go of it... I had to let go of it. Like most issues, something gets challenged or even something has to be sacrificed, and it is one' s discretion if she/he wants to give in at this point  I guess, my problem is, I am aware how big the world is, and the possibilities are quite infinite. I realize that once I 'settle' I'd be letting go of the 'what might have beens' of myself, and I would rather face that than have the frustrations over someone. I guess it also boils down to one's philosophy, and mine is a bit selfish... I want to learn and love myself before I share myself to anyone. Because I think, if one gets into a relationship, it will of course open new doors to this person, but as it happens, another closes. I am young--- I want to study my options and not rush. I want to be my best before I become a part of a bigger whole, and this whole is not restricted to my partner and me. I am to think that that we are here not for another person, not even your parents, that we are here for the world. It brings one's existence to another level, and that is the universal. This is mentioned in Kundera's book.... I guess, it's mentioned that somewhere it is written that all souls are hermaphrodites and then God split these souls into two, and the several lifetimes would be in search for the other half. I quite agree with that concept, but not on the romantic light; I think while on this search it gives one a sense of purpose and the search is simply one's motivation to actually LIVE and love and make mistakes. It is a series of trial and error until the right things happens. This quite reminds me of a Reebok ad that says, "Life is a game. Play hard." Oh, am gonna stop this now  |
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Post by lizifer on Feb 2, 2003 10:18:10 GMT -5
As for me, a singleton, hmm....a reason is I AM very picky. thats mainly the reason for me too! i am sooooo picky!  the guys that are interested in me, i'm not interested in them!  |
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Post by MsPoet on Feb 2, 2003 19:19:15 GMT -5
:)actually I was hoping I'd sound dramatic, something to the effect of looking at the heavens with the fists raised, hollering WHY the reason pretty much boils down to the 'You'll learn to love him' statement and the 'I'd feel guilty losing this after all this time' defence... I want to be my best before I become a part of a bigger whole, and this whole is not restricted to my partner and me. I am to think that that we are here not for another person, not even your parents, that we are here for the world. This is mentioned in Kundera's book.... I guess, it's mentioned that somewhere it is written that all souls are hermaphrodites and then God split these souls into two, and the several lifetimes would be in search for the other half. Mandragora, the vision of you looking to the heavens with your fists raised is a h*lluvalotbetter.....it's really cool, dramatic, etc..... ;D "You'll learn to love him"---"I'd hate to lose this after all this time"---as for people who say such things, are we talking about a human being, or an appliance?! ....."time" is a main reason many people don't break up, but....life isn't measured in clock time. It should be measured in quality, not quanitity. On subject of souls being split in two....I don't think they're split in two. I think they're split more than that. And I've stopped using the term "split"--because I am complete no matter how you put it. Projected, beamed, whatever...... On subject that we are "here for the world"---I completely agree. In fact it irks me when I go out in public and parents are not disciplining their children. They, the parents, are acting like they're not even thinking about the future. They treat their children as if they don't even realize that they're raising their children not only for the family's benefit but for the sake of society. Mandragora you sound sorta like me. <g>.....and we look alike, right? ....do you have green eyes? Mandragora, Lizifer.....it's nice to know I'm not the only one who has these standards. People have told me I'm too picky....I've heard many people say that as time goes on, they've become less picky, but in many ways, I've become more so....but I think that may mean in some sense, that I've become more self-confident in being myself, and that if I became involved with someone, they'd have to be somethin' somethin'.  :)Donna |
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Post by Mandragora on Feb 2, 2003 23:47:18 GMT -5
Mandragora you sound sorta like me. <g>.....and we look alike, right? ....do you have green eyes? :)Donna I am Miss Brown Eyes I look less like Harry Potter now since that my hair is longer and and I am going to ditch my eyeglasses soon... I hate being nearsighted! Donna, I think it's the age, HAHAHA ;D There are people who think that thinking THIS way is incredibly jaded. I have to admit that eversince I started listening to Tori Amos at the age of fifteen I started to learn about myself more, and that is, I cannot be that easily blinded. Tori Amos's love songs are usually about frustrated love, love that is lost, not wanting to compromise, a third party... but well, I might have to say, that her cover of Led Zepellin's "Thank You" did it. That song, "Thank You", is the ULTIMATE love song. Yes, now I am raving about Tori... I just downloaded last night her cover of The Police's "Wrapped Around Your Finger" and never did that song hit me that much. It's a very sad song with a hint of determination... you know how being 'wrapped around someone's finger' is... Here's a sample verse: You consider me the young apprentice Caught between the Scylla and Charybdis Hypnotized by you if I should linger Staring at the ring around your finger I have only come here seeking knowledge Things they would not teach me of in college I can see the destiny you sold Turned into a shining band of gold I'll be wrapped around your finger I am not sure if that is some form of portent... something like if ever I meet again THE guy that I left in the past and then he's already with someone else and I realize that my issues with him are not over yet... it's scary. That's where I'd probably have some form of regret for not being utterly frank. But then, has any of you let anyone pass because you're rooting or still waiting for someone? |
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Post by Sampaguita on Feb 3, 2003 0:05:02 GMT -5
Hey, I've got standards too! I refuse to settle... I've seen the grief that settling can cause. I've also been told that I'm too picky. But one has to set standards-- and I refuse to believe that will irrevocably ruin my lovelife. The perfect guy for me is out there. And even though we've got these standards and general rules to govern our taste, we have exceptions-- right. And I trust my judgement. Standards are a good thing-- elsewise, I would have wound up with my smarmy stalker. Yuck... But I've got exceptions to my standards too... the exceptions don't deviate TOO much... but I'm flexible. But then, maybe I shouldn't be one to talk. I might be waiting for someone that'll never want me-- and I don't even know if I am or not... Oh-- Last night I heard this great indie Alt-rock gal at a local Borders cafe. Her music is amazing and her lyrics go along with the themes that we've been discussing on this thread. Her name is Marina V. Go check her out at www.marinav.comI can't seem to stop listening to her song "Killing My Dream." |
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Post by Mandragora on Feb 7, 2003 10:32:01 GMT -5
Okay, okay, another question. When it comes to love, is it more of a chance or a coincidence? Think about it |
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Voldie_M
Full Member
raaaaargh!
Posts: 186
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Post by Voldie_M on Feb 7, 2003 11:27:00 GMT -5
i think both.....i guess.......hmmm.. *ponders*
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Post by Mandragora on Feb 7, 2003 12:47:35 GMT -5
Regarding that question.... it's quite unsettling. I want to think that the guys in my past were MEANT to be there... you know, because I have to say that I have a bit of growing up due to those jeepers. It's easier to be inspired out of passion... you know, from mere infatuation to major heartache. Funny, while I think about it, it makes me realize that I actually had to be somewhat involved with them to KNOW that they are NOT the one... it's like the firsthand taste of that thing called mistake. Maybe this CC thing... I believe sooner or later it will pass, just like the infatuations I had with other guys, I guess at this point the 'growing up' thing will have to be... knowing that it's possible that a man like Christian Coulson exists. I have to admit at this point he's like my IDEAL guy, and since that the guys I personally know are ANYTHING BUT, just a simple fact/truth that there's a Christian in this world is enough to give me enough hope in this world that men, after all, are not as hopeless. But of course, I am framing Christian as the 'ideal' on the basis of what I know... which, unfortunately, is not much. And I know that probably a lot of men CAN be like him in a sense. I don't know! It's that PICKY issue again. As I type here I am listening to this cut by Yo La Tengo... and I am to purchase Ian McEwan's "The Cement Garden" tomorrow... so that's the thing, I want a guy who is a mixture of Yo La Tengo and McEwan. Not exactly literally, but I want someone who can at least appreciate what I love and that's film, music, literature, art, fine, architecture.... and my loving of those fields is inherent, not chance nor consequence. It's going to be a hard find for this lifetime, maybe as of now I am just to sit back and wait for chance. Sometimes coincidences are hard to explain, especially if that event has become some sort of a turning point... like Sampaguita's case, would it be a coincidence with that Jason guy? I am starting to think that numerous coincidences with certain people would be like a Nietzsche myth of the eternal return, something like the coincidences keep repeating itself it's going to take form somewhat, and somehow gets solidified enough to be touched. Funny, I quite remember this 'lesson' that says things will repeat over and over until you learn your lesson from it. No wonder I had to take up Calculus n times! |
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Post by MsPoet on Feb 7, 2003 13:35:13 GMT -5
Mandragora, I'm not quite sure what you mean by "chance" and "coincidence." They sort of mean the same thing, don't they?
At any rate, I don't believe in coincidences. I'm the person who sits watching tv and reading at the same time and when they're saying a specific word on the tv, I'm reading it simultaneously. (That happens everyday).
I often think of my heart&soul Z. and I know that if we were to meet for the first time now, at the ages we are now (we're 8 months apart) we'd get engaged. But I don't think it was by chance or coincidence or whatever when we *did* meet....it was meant to be, for whatever reason...he set the standard (to whom ONE man I've met since has met).......and things in hindsight, now, are much clearer.
Some people say I need to get out but actually I "get out" just fine. Either I'm going to meet someone, or I'm not. That's the way I see it.
Donna
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Post by Sampaguita on Feb 7, 2003 16:45:49 GMT -5
I believe in destiny and fate... but I also believe in coincidence and chance.
But you can only ever tell in hindsight. I think you have to rely on instinct also when certain occurrances take place.
In my case, I was destined to meet "Buddy" and Josh because they were influential in the direction my life is going (as mentors-- my most important, my list is not limited to these two). I was also DESTINED to meet "Buddy" because he's the measurement by which I judge the romantic potential of men... The exception to every rule... etc. (but with this list, "Buddy" stands alone.)
Chance would be my meeting C (evil ex), Dublin James (a sorta minor film actor that I met when a movie was shooting on campus), or others that didn't turn out to be very important in the long run.
I have a feeling about Jason... that maybe I'm supposed to meet him... but I'm not QUITE sure that it's supposed to be romantic.
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Post by lizifer on Feb 7, 2003 19:13:08 GMT -5
Either I'm going to meet someone, or I'm not. That's the way I see it. Donna thats the way i look at it too! i believe if somethings meant to be it'll happen. |
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Post by ausaims on Feb 8, 2003 19:05:17 GMT -5
I think I agree with Lizifer: if something is meant to happen it will....pity though, that I'm so impatient. |
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Post by lizifer on Feb 8, 2003 19:11:49 GMT -5
me too ausaims, i'm increadibly impatient! and i always look back on things and say "i should have done that" or "i shouldn't have done that" even tho i try not too have regrets, at the back of my mind i do regret quite a few things.
shame life always has to be so complicated!
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Post by Sampaguita on Feb 8, 2003 20:02:48 GMT -5
Yeah, why can't life just be simple. At the moment, I'm wishing that my life was a sappy romantic comedy-- like "Two Weeks Notice."
But I agree with you all. If something's meant to happen, it will happen... However, I can't believe how fate is teasing me with my present situation-- only allowing me glimpses, but never a concrete opportunity to speak to him.
Maybe I'm too impatient. Then there's also the fact that I'm suffering from a certain kind of frustration that just refuses to pass. I should be working on my LONG over-due paper on Britney Spears and Orientalism... I don't know how I'm going to manage it.
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Post by ausaims on Feb 8, 2003 22:54:47 GMT -5
Yeah, if things would just happen a little bit quicker... As for overdue papers, I've never actually had an overdue one, but I'd be stressing out a bit about it if I did.  |
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the guys that are interested in me, i'm not interested in them! 
